


I'm lacking subtlety, when I drop hints that a crave their company

by shuttymcshutfuck



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fainting, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, could be read as DLAMP if you squint but probably not, i honestly don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:07:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25845532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuttymcshutfuck/pseuds/shuttymcshutfuck
Summary: After Putting others first all the sides have just collectively decided to repress their feelings but none as much as Patton. Janus knows this isn't healthy so he decides enough is enough. Sadly, things never really go to plan in the mindscape.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	I'm lacking subtlety, when I drop hints that a crave their company

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in the Sanders sides fandom and what a surprise that it's hurt/comfort (it's not like it's basically the only stuff I read or anything). Any way, I love the headcanon that Janus can make the others unable to lie so here's a lil fic about that. As usual, if there's anything I forgot to tag please let me know :)
> 
> title from: "Recipe for Me" by Thomas Sanders

It was 5 days after they’d filmed and Janus sat alone in his room. Ever since they’d finished everyone had just ignored each other, pretending nothing had happened. Patton still made breakfast every morning, lunch every afternoon and dinner every night. Everyone would come down to the table, eat in silence apart from the rare small talk that would escape their lips through somewhat gritted teeth, then go back to their rooms. Sometimes you’d catch Roman on the couch watching a Disney movie but he never sang along anymore. Other times you might see Logan at the dining table reading a book or doing research for Thomas’s next video but he no longer thought out loud when trying to solve something that had been puzzling him. It was quite common to see Patton downstairs in the kitchen at night stress baking. He’d never admit that it was stress baking but everyone knew it was.

Things were almost back to normal, apart from all the hidden feelings. Janus had thought that they would have sorted things out by now but there didn’t seem to be a visible end to the blanket of repression that smothered them all. So, Janus made a plan. And oh boy, were they not gonna like it.

~~~

It seemed like a normal morning to Patton. He had woken up and made his way down to the kitchen to start making breakfast for everyone. It was only when Logan made his way downstairs that things started to feel off. Patton shrugged it off, assuming that it must be a bad day for Virgil and it was rubbing off on him. It had happened plenty of times before especially since he was the core of Thomas’s emotions so he just made a note to ask if Virgil needed anything once he came down. Logan wandered into the kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee pot as usual. Patton started to feel something building up inside of his chest but he pushed it down as hard as he could.

“Do you hate me?” he asked, clamping a hand over his mouth as soon as the words started coming out of it. 

“Did you say something Patton?” Logan had thankfully not heard him over the radio Patton always has playing in the morning. Not trusting his words, Patton simply shook his head, feeling a sharp pain in his throat when he did. 

While the rest of the sides slowly made their way, one by one to the table Patton smiled at them and continued humming along to the radio instead of his usual greeting and cheerful small talk. While everyone was eating breakfast and continuing their silent agreement of small talk Patton could barely swallow his pancakes. The longer he kept quiet the more the pain in his throat was growing and the pressure in his chest started building back up again. He started clearing the plates once everyone was done, leaving the dishes in the sink to be done later. He quickly joined them all again at the table, now with a cup of tea hoping it would soothe his throat. It was when Virgil got up to leave that the pressure became too much again.

“Please don’t go!” This time Patton couldn’t hide it. There was no radio playing, no chatter, nothing. They all looked shocked, apart from Janus who had kept an eye on Patton all morning waiting for something to happen. Patton thought he was just being paranoid when he had felt eyes on him but maybe he wasn’t after all. 

“Pat, are you alright?” All Patton could focus on was the sharp pain starting to bring tears to his eyes and the pressure building in his chest making it harder and harder to breathe. 

“Yeah.” He gasped right before he passed out.

~~~

He woke up to a warm feeling underneath him. He was laying on something soft and he could feel someone's hands running through his hair. He slowly opened his eyes to see he was lying on the couch with his head in Virgil's lap. He moved his head slightly to reveal quite a visual. Janus was pinned up against the wall by Roman who was currently being held back by Logan while Remus sat on the floor at the end of the couch with popcorn kernels in his hand munching on handfuls at a time. Patton didn’t want to think about what flavour it was.

“What..?” Patton trailed off, his voice slightly hoarse but most of the pain was gone.

“Pat?” Virgil said, trying to see if he was finally awake. When Patton turned towards him he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “You’re okay.”

“Patton?!” Roman immediately stopped threatening Janus and dropped his sword rushing over to Patton’s side. “Oh thank the stars you’re okay!”

“Poor timing though, Janus was about two seconds away from being a snake kebab!” Remus chimed in, disappointed he never got to see what his brother was planning to do.

“Yeah, I’m fine kiddos. What happened?” Patton rasped out, trying to sit up from where he was laying.

“Patton, I‘d highly suggest you lay back down. You passed out after what I believe to be a panic attack. Do you remember what might have triggered it off?” Logan moved swiftly from his spot on the other side of the room so that he was standing closer to Patton.

“I’m honestly not sure. I just felt this pressure in my chest and I couldn’t breathe.” He shuddered at the memory and did as told, laying back down and letting Virgil continue to play with his hair. It was incredibly soothing after all.

“I believe I may be able to clear things up.” Janus stepped forward, guilt written all over his face. “You were in pain because of me. I used my powers so that you couldn’t lie. I knew you were repressing your feelings and it wasn’t healthy so I made you tell the truth. I never thought you would fight it so much though, I promise I never meant to cause you any harm. I’ve never seen someone fight through it before so I had no idea what would happen. I truly am sorry, Patton.” 

“Janus, it’s okay.” Janus stood wide eyed, not knowing how to react. “I believe you.” Patton gestured for him to come over and he did, kneeling down beside him. Patton wiped away a tear Janus didn’t know he had shed. “You were right, I was repressing again and I’m sorry. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t help it sometimes.” It was then that Patton shed a few tears himself.

“Pat, you know that we are here for you.” Virgil reassured him.

“I know but after the last video we filmed I messed so many things up and hurt all of you. I just didn’t know how to make things better so I was trying to give you all some space.” Patton sat up now to face them all properly. “I am so sorry, I haven’t been able to forgive myself since.”

“It's okay, Pat. I think we all did and said things we didn’t mean.” Roman solemnly glanced to Janus and Logan as he spoke before focusing back on Patton.

“I think this calls for a movie night, what do you guys think?” Virgil suggested looking around at the others for conformation.

“I believe it would be beneficial for all of us to relax a bit.” Logan said moving towards the kitchen to get snacks for everyone. Before Patton could even get up to help, Virgil was pushing him back down into his seat.

“Nope, don’t you even think about getting up. You still passed out, remember?” He turned towards Janus with an assertive look on his face. “Janus, you’re on dad duty, okay? Make sure he stays put.” Janus nodded and with that Virgil joined Logan in the kitchen while Roman and Remus were conjuring up enough blankets and pillows to drown them all. They stayed there for the rest of the day watching film after film, taking turns in choosing which one to watch next. Being surrounded by his family once again, Patton started to slowly feel better. He knew that things still needed to be talked through properly but right now they were there for him and that was all that mattered.


End file.
